You Want a White Student Union?

I say go for it.

Join Up

I know you already did, kinda, even though your school was having none of it. Kudos to YOU Matthew Heimbach and your (non-university affiliated) Towson University White Student Union! And your White Patrols whereby you patrol the campus on behalf of white female southern virtue – I am verklempt. What with all those Black male students out there prowling around for white female students. Something had to be done.

Did you know? The number of white students at Towson reflects the demographics of Baltimore County, making up 68 percent and 65 percent of the two populations, respectively. Yet while 26.8 percent of Baltimore County residents are black, only 13 percent of Towson students are.

But no matter! Herr Heimbach and his WSU crew are highly concerned about the decline and decimation (genocide!) of the European err stock umm people (?) world-wide and especially on campus. So good on him for totes looking out for his people. Somebody has to!

I am all for white pride. I think it is a necessary thing. I mean if you somehow – especially as a white male – missed out on the benefits of white privilege that are conferred upon you at birth, then you are for sure going to need all the help you can get.

A lot of people don’t understand what the big deal is. I mean there are Black Student Unions, and all sorts on campuses nationwide. Why not a White Student Union? Some say that the other student groups are inclusive and promote knowledge and information, diversity and multicultural type stuff, whereas the WSU ain’t got time for all of that. Whatevs. PoTAYto. PoTAHto.


I also love the bumper stickers on that pickup truck. The one used to do those White Patrols in. Heavily peppered with the confederate flag and one that says simply “Native“. Ok native to what exactly? Go back couple three four generations and Matt’s people were coming over here in some kinda boat. Go back even further in generations before there even was an “America” and you’ll find my people already here and/or arriving on some kinda boat too. Then again, I don’t run around with a “Native” sticker on my bumper.

Matthew should probably have a sit down with the Piscataway. The true natives of his region. But see that is the beauty of all of this. Some people you can’t learn ’em nothin. When you are from the get go dealing with a white guy who sees himself as native… WELP really nothing you can do.

Anybody not white and christian need not apply. Anybody interested in actual history and easily provable facts and examples need not apply. People who are too nervous to take one of those genetic blood tests should probably apply. Because you never know what your actual family tree might look like, best to leave all that alone. A nice comfy homogeneous at least on the surface group like the WSU should suit you just fine.

Join up, join up, I say!


I could have provided the link to the Towson WSU website but I didn’t. Because well Google. Gotta show some INISH if you want in on it.

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