Please, Dear Ones,
Find a quiet place and write down every single Woman and Girl who is important to you. Who is close to you. Who you love. If you are female, add your own name to that list. Look at the list. It doesn’t even have to be a long list. If there is even One Name on it, that is very fine and very wonderful.
Know that 1 in 3 females will be sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. From the cradle to the grave, that potential, that stark and real statistic will hang over their heads like the Dagger of Damocles. In the twenty years since I graduated college that stat has gone from 1 in 6 to 1 in 4 and now we have 1 in 3. It is getting much much worse, not better.
Make another list. This one will be Women and Girls who you are acquainted with, who you know on that level just outside of the first list. You might see them every day, be friends of family members, that nice lady who works in your favorite store, a co-worker you have lunch with every now and then. It does not have to be a long list, even just One Name is beauty.
Know that anyone on that second list shares the same fate as those on the first.
When you walk around in the world today, tomorrow, over the long weekend, as you walk, run or drive around in the world next week, observe the Women and Girls you see in passing as you go about your life. Strangers. People you don’t know. Understand that they share the same fate. Understand that I share the same fate. Me, the stranger, the Woman You Don’t Know who weeps at her computer writing this.
What is compassion? Compassion is the understanding or empathy for the suffering of others and helping them to come out from the suffering. Note that empathy is involved. Note that it is not just understanding and empathizing: Compassion involves helping others.
The horror in my heart because I meant it when I said from the cradle to the grave the threat is very real and always there:
Pick any age. I only listed three examples, because I’m already Done. And my searches just rendered me Unable. Trust and Believe on any of those searches, there was plenty to pick from, both from here and anywhere world-wide.
We can talk about Ohio putting to death the man who raped and killed a 6-month-old baby. An easy death, unlike the one he visited upon that infant. And meanwhile what about the millions of other sexual predators wandering around in our nation? The billions in the world?
That baby did not need to die. That man need not have become what he was. We live in a Rape Culture. This is a GLOBAL fact as well as a fact of our own nation. Rape Culture allows for things like this to happen every single day our planet rotates around our star.
If males in our society simply live good lives and never rape, never sexually assault and go peacefully into that good night at the end of their long lives: this Rape Culture will continue. It is not enough to simply be a Good Guy and refrain from being a perpetrator.
You have to stand up. You have to become a leader. You have to speak out. What do I mean by that?
Watch this video and get the Leadership Tools you will need to end rape and sexual assault against Women and Girls.
Give This To Every Male You Know. A Cri de Coeur – Cry from the Heart.
Have compassion for me, this stranger, this woman who is someone’s mother, who is someone’s sister, who is someone’s daughter, someone’s granddaughter, someone’s niece, someone’s aunt, someone’s cousin.
Have compassion for me, she who shakes and cries and begs for just one scrap of pity. I am your mother, sister, daughter, granddaughter, niece, aunt, cousin.
I am already a statistic. I am not that unusual. Maybe you think your family is unscathed. We don’t talk about things like that, so maybe you don’t know what wide swath of destruction has already hit your family.
Men and Boys need to step up. Need to take their place alongside the Women and Girls who have been at this for generations. We need your help.
The paradigm shift will not occur unless you take leadership and begin to stop allowing for this to happen.
I was reading the comments of an article speaking about the Steubenville case. There was a man who said something that brought me up short.
He said he saw a bumper sticker that had these four words on it: Men Can Stop Rape. He said that he was dumbstruck. That he was absolutely confounded. That that simple notion had him gobsmacked. That he had never even thought about it that way. He identified himself as a normal, regular, decent guy.
Why that simple “No Duh” notion, those four words would halt this decent everyday nice guy in his tracks, had me very confused for a while. Then I realized that he too is a victim of the Rape Culture we live in.
The kind of culture that is broken down in THIS VIDEO, that same video I’ve already encouraged you to watch. It had never occurred to him that he could be involved in putting an end to rape. Because it has always been a “women’s issue”, a problem for “women to solve” and something that “women had to fight and work against”.
News flash! Rape is not a women’s issue. I am sitting here, breathing (yes and crying too) just like any average human being. And yet just the fact that I’m female and breathing renders me subject to being harmed. Harmed by who? Men. Males.
I am not the problem. Whoever is bringing down the hurt upon me is the problem. So they are the ones to be the leaders in the solution. Step up. Rally other regular decent nice guys to take leadership with you. Stop Rape. Have Compassion.
Compassion is that which makes the heart of the good move at the pain of others. It crushes and destroys the pain of others; thus, it is called compassion. It is called compassion because it shelters and embraces the distressed. – The Buddha.