After The Verdict


Just know that while what I predicted would happen did in fact happen, and I prepared myself for it:

The reality of it turned out to be something I don’t think anyone could have prepared for. My preparations were found wanting. That’s all I can say about that.

So unless you haven’t been following my twitter or peeking in on it, you’ll know that I haven’t had much to personally say. Just been retweeting sentiments that I feel keenly.


I chose “After The Verdict” as my blog post title, because really it is in these moments, these hours, these days, months and years after and what we do that will count the most.

Everyone over at This Week in Blackness has been amazing. Just hopping on the air the second the verdict was announced, and opened up the phone lines for people to vent, speak and just draw simple comfort for being in a safe, supportive community.

Listen HERE for the first of what might end up as many recordings of marathon open radio sessions. There was one this morning too, that I hooked into as well. After waking up feeling worse than I did the day before, it was a huge help. Tho somewhere in the middle, I had to lay down on the floor and type from there.

Yes type, because part of the Awesomeness that is TWiB, there is always the live chat room that is available there, anytime, but usually more heavily attended during scheduled broadcasts. And unscheduled ones like yesterday and today.

That’s what really helps to make the TWiB community what it is. I mean it was such a haven that we busted the servers at one point, so many were flocking there for comfort, solace and a place to speak, listen and Plan.


Listening to the stories, the experiences, the questioning… well my heart was shattered into a million pieces over and over again.

What am I supposed to tell my kids?

How do I explain this to my son?

I fear for my son’s life every time he walks out the door.

I am living half a world away from my son and I fear for him every day, hoping that as he goes about his life, he will be safe from harm.

Cries from the heart, more, many and varied, but really all echoing the same sentiment:

That Black bodies have little to no value.

That laws are there for some people and not others.

There is more, sure, but I can’t speak about that right now. I’m barely able to do this paltry post. But I fear not ever being able to write again if I don’t at least put something to page, and well it is Sunday, and I promised to always post something on Sundays, if no other day.


I initially had a pre-verdict post in mind, because I thought the jury would at least pretend to take its time coming to what I knew would be a foregone conclusion, but silly me! The indecent haste on returning with that acquittal was whiplash inducing to say the least. There ended up not being enough time to put it all together.

But I’ll post the picture I was going to speak about anyway. Because it sort of summed up everything to me at that point. I even had some captions whizzing by in my brain, but really the look on that Brotha’s face whilst being forced to watch the shenaniganery in front of him needs no caption.

Jesus Be A Fence

Consider this an open thread. But really all my posts are, as some of you well know. Speak your mind. Have your say.


No. Black people didn’t riot. They marched. Held vigils. Prayed and Planned.
That so-called violence that supposedly happened in Oakland? From the horse’s mouth from someone who was actually AT the peaceful gathering:
Bunch of white kids showed up and started shenanigans, breaking shop windows and whatsnot. Yes. So. Um. Yeah.

Hoodies Up

Hoodies Up.

About Awake BW

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3 Responses to After The Verdict

  1. bernasvibe says:

    Saw your post pop up and couldn’t resist reading..Though honestly? I’m just about talked out, typed out, emotionally drained from writing my own blog post on the VERDICT. I also re-blogged from GBN the NAACP petition to press the D.O.J. to press civil charges against Zimmerman. Not what any of us wanted as the “only” justice; but I’ve GOT to do ; something progressive. Wearing Black today to church as a sign of mourning just doesn’t seem like enough..I’m still struggling to figure out what WILL be enough. WE need a present day MLK, JR….the need for it has long arrived. The final straw was this verdict. I’ve not heard of TWiB; so I’ll check it out. Thanks for mentioning it & as always thank YOU for being AWAKE. I’m far too naive I just didn’t think the verdict would be what it was…I keep believing people will see right for right; regardless of color. I guess our only gimme these days is a Black POTUS..Personally I don’t want any one to give me nor my sons anything less than what they deserve. To LIVE peacefully with the peace they bring; without fear of being KILLED just cause of the color of their skin. We already dealt with/deal with discrimination; now death is to be added to the list for innocents?

    • Awake BW says:

      You reaction is valid. It is True and Right and so very Human. When we see right before our eyes a system that is built for only a certain section of the population of this country – do what it was built to do – it hurts like a sumbitch.

      I have finally figured out why my reaction is tempered and why I am so hesitant to let my emotions out fully, like I wish too. I have cried, yes, but certainly not enough. My next blog post will explain more of why that is.

      This place we are in this world has always been very precarious. To see it basically put into law right before our eyes just makes you feel like dying. The high risk for our sons has just gotten to a level most of us have never seen before in our lifetimes.

      I’m glad the DOJ is saying that it will do something, but I’m not going to hold my breath. They should have brought the governor of Florida up on charges after the last election, and they did nothing. So if they are feeling momentary pressure to try and do something about this one case, right now, well ok we’ll see. When in truth, they need to be doing a clean sweep and in-depth probe of ALL states to make sure they are coming correct.

      But the DOJ is part of the system that allowed for the acquittal of a murderer, so I’ll wait to be surprised if they are actually able to or even actually do something.

      Blessings to you, and keep venting! It is healing and don’t ever apologize for it.

      • bernasvibe says:

        @”The high risk for our sons has just gotten to a level most of us have never seen before in our lifetimes…” I totally AGREE..though its worse in some states more than others..Just like when? Just like BACKintheday when the North was less racist than the South.. Will reserve the rest of my comments for after I read your newest post…

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